Should I stop being a nice guy?
There is nothing wrong with being a nice guy, you should be nice as often as you can. But, you can’t be nice all the time. There are times when being nice will get you the short end of the stick. The opposite end of the spectrum is being overbearing and not so nice. These varmints need to handled with care. With them you need to be assertive and stand your ground or you will be trampled upon.
Is being a nice guy worth it?
Being a true nice guy is worth it. But not many people are like that.
A lot of ‘nice’ guys aren’t really nice. They are only nice to hot girls, because they want to get laid. Most of them aren’t nice to older ladies or waiters. Some are even plain evil.
This is just one of many reasons girls don’t want to date nice guys. They know all of this already. They know that you most likely are just being nice because you want to bang them. Not actually because you are a nice person.
On top of all this, they have already heard all of the compliments that ‘nice’ guys give. They simply do not care anymore. After being called beautiful and hot constantly for 10+ years, it starts to lose its value.
If this is the only thing you are bringing to the table, then being a ‘nice’ guy isn’t worth it. Think about it. Would you want to date or have sex with someone just because they said you were hot, or carried your groceries? No, you wouldn’t. You need to be more than that. Being funny, confident, flirtatious and truly nice will matter much more.
Just like with any other trait, being a ‘nice’ guy alone isn’t enough. Even if you are genuinely being nice. With so many other options on the market, you just have to bring more.
Know the signs of being a “Nice Guy”
- They believe that if they are good, giving, and caring, that they will get happiness, love and fulfillment in return.
- They offer to do things for a girl they hardly know that they wouldn’t normally do for just anybody else they know.
- Mostly avoid conflict by withholding their opinions or even become agreeable with her when they don’t actually agree.
- They try to fix and take care of her problems, they are drawn to trying to help.
- Seek approval from others.
- Try to hide their perceived flaws and mistakes.
- Always looking for the “right” way to do things.
- They tend to analyze rather than feel.
- Have difficulty making their needs a priority.
- They are often emotionally dependent on their partner
Solution for it
- Stop agreeing with everyone and everything. That doesn’t mean that you should disagree or argue for its own sake, but you’re your own person with your own opinions and preferences. If you find yourself agreeing with everyone, you might be undercutting your individuality. Think foryourself and speak up. Not every disagreement is an argument, and a difference of opinion can sometimes lead to interesting discussion in which you learn a great deal about how a person thinks and how they feel about a lot of things.
- Stop being a people pleaser. Don’t bend over backwards to accommodate everyone except yourself. If you identify with the “nice guy” dilemma, you’re probably a kind person who loves to help people, and that’s wonderful. But don’t be so humble that you become a slave to everyone else’s needs and expectations. It’s healthy to have your own needs and goals, and to fulfill them and help others at the same time, without putting someone else’s priorities way above yours. Avoid “parasitic” relationships where you give, give, give and never get. Strive to form-mutually beneficial relationships.
- Learn to say no. When people ask you to do something that you don’t feel comfortable doing, for whatever reason, you have every right to decline. If you find yourself saying yes without considering your time or desire to help, get in the habit of saying, “Let me check my schedule and get back with you.” This will give you a chance to reflect on your availability and rehearse how you will tell them “no”. There are manipulative people in the world who will make you feel guilty (in a very subtle way).
- Use nonviolent communication to convey your discomfort, concerns or needs. Some people are taught that it’s not nice to say anything negative, but the fact is that there are conflicts in life and they need to be addressed in order to be resolved so we can have healthy, balanced and happy relationships.
- Draw the line. Don’t allow people to disrespect or ignore you. Stand up for yourself. If a co-worker steals your idea and passes it off as his own, you’re not being nice by letting it slide. You’re being cowardly. If your date doesn’t show up, and doesn’t even bother to call beforehand or afterwards to explain, you’re not being nice by overlooking a lack of consideration. You’re being a doormat.
- Remember that you don’t need anyone to be happy. Once you feel you “need” something, as in you want it so badly that you’d do almost anything to get it, and it’s something that only someone else can give to you (i.e. someone else’s approval, regard, or affection) you essentially put your happiness completely in someone else’s control. In other words, you give that person all the power, making yourself appear weak and “needy”. Instead, base your self-worth on your own actions and efforts, rather than on how others perceive you.
- Rejection and criticism is difficult to deal with, but sometimes it’s undeserved. Don’t spend your whole life trying to avoid people thinking negatively of you. Do what you feel is right, no matter what anyone else thinks. All you need to be happy, ultimately, is self-respect.
- Continue being nice. The niceness isn’t what gets the stereotypical nice guy into trouble. You can be a gentleman-without being a pushover. Can be sweet without being suffocating. You can be humble without being self-deprecating. It’s all about finding a good balance. Surround yourself with nice people who will consider you as much as you consider them, and do your best to teach others how they can be nice to you and in general.
What I suggest you?
You sound like someone who is tired of being used by people. I can understand your plight when you say you wanna turn bad. Let me give you few tips how to be bad to people.
- Always show attitude:- Portray yourself as the almighty and treat everyone like insects.
- Be rude:- Try to use sarcasm and don’t ever reply politely to anyone.
- Learn to say no:- U should say no more often. Also try to do so with giving explanation.
- Be selfish:- Keep yourself at priority and don’t let anyone control u.
These things will surely make u happy but people around u will suffer. So think twice before doing this. Also there is nothing wrong being a nice guy but one should learn when to be nice and when to walk away. Kindly note above points just for knowledge and implement at your own risk.